Monthly Archives: May 2014

Wednesday’s Parent: Making social media work for you

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Alan Katzman Social Assurity LLC

Alan Katzman
Social Assurity LLC

Social media has become increasingly important for the college-bound and job seekers because colleges and employers have become more interested in applicants’ virtual selves. In last December’s Wednesday’s Parent, I described the who, what and why about a Social media makeover and Suzanne wrote about The good, the bad and the ugly.

We are taking it one step further by showing parents and students how to use their social media as a tool to work for them, not against them.

Follow my three C’s for social media: create, coordinate and control.

Create positive online content. Whether you are creating a blog or commenting on someone else’s material, do more than apply the Grandma rule before posting. Go beyond cleaning up your act and show yourself (abilities, accomplishments, interests, skills, talents) off.

Coordinate online information. Chances are you have a host of social media accounts. Take charge of them so they all have the common theme with no conflicting material of showing you (abilities, accomplishments, interests, skills, talents) in the best light.

Control your online reputation Whether you set up a Google alert for your name or hire a professional to check, stay informed about how you appear online and be ready for damage control.

Read Suzanne’s post: Teen Social Media Lifestyles and Outcomes.

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Expert Alan Katzman, founder of Social Assurity LLC is our #CampusChat guest on Wednesday, May 28, 9pm ET/6pm PT. He will talk about digital footprints and explain how the college-bound and their parents may enhance their online presence for when colleges, coaches and employers take a look.

UPDATE The #CampusChat was so successful that it was trending! Get the Q &A Takeaway Tweets and full Recap on Storify.

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.

How science can help the college-bound find success and happiness

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What makes students happy and successful is the question behind this cool Infographic from Happify. It is also the query stressing parents of the college-bound and students during the graduation season.

Based on the premise that happiness is a skill to be strengthened, Happify’s mission is to “make the benefits of scientific discovery readily available and usable by you in an interactive way.” To do this, they apply their expertise in gaming and technology to findings from “the field of positive psychology—the scientific study of what makes people thrive and lead meaningful lives.”

Parents and their college-bound children may use the tips from Happify, the online personal happiness trainer, as it explains the scientific research on education, striving for success and happiness.

Check out Happify Infographic’s suggestions about becoming “grittier” and the pointers about what benefits and matters to students. Perhaps the most interesting tidbit is the last one that explains the good lifelong news for college grads who earn their degrees during an economic recession.

Infographic: What makes students happy and successful? – Happify

Happify - Infographic - Graduation and Education

Wednesday’s Parent: College-bound sibling rivalry is more than jealousy

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Siblings. Photo by Amanda Gaines

Siblings. Photo by Amanda Gaines

The focus on college prep is on the college-bound student going through the process not his/her siblings. However, they too are greatly impacted by their brother’s or sister’s college prep. Sibling rivalry encompasses more than jealousy. It may generate anxious feelings of loneliness, sadness and worry. Here are five things parents may be on the lookout for and how they can help:

Attention Are family dinner conversations devoted to choice of college majors? Are family vacations really collegecations, family vacay + college visits? Are family purchases considered while calculating college costs? Siblings notice where the family spotlight shines.

Parents may include siblings in college prep activities. For example, siblings may help search for scholarships for their brother or sister and themselves. College scholarships are available for students in elementary school through the college years. Younger siblings may be specifically encouraged to join in conversations expanding vocabulary in preparation for their college admission tests. Older siblings may be urged to share their experiences with choosing a major.

Time The college-bound must make room in their schedule for studying for college admission tests, homework for advanced classes, community service projects, and researching colleges. College prep activities take up a lot of formerly free time – some of which may have been shared with a sibling. Now there may be an empty gap in the sibling’s schedule.

Parents may help their children with time management and organization. By creating a calendar and listing all the must do’s, want to do’s may be filled in next. There may not be a lot of impromptu downtime with siblings but pre-arranged slots ensures togetherness will happen. Meanwhile, parents may help siblings find new interests or develop existing ones for their newly found free time as they all move toward independence and their own life path.

Comparison Following in someone else’s college-bound footsteps is a double-edged sword. Sometimes it paves the sibling’s way, providing a roadmap of pitfalls, warnings and expectations. Other times it highlights their different personalities, talents and interests which may collide with expectations. This may lead to doubts about self-worth, pressure to change or exaggerated conceits.

Parents may have to be extra careful not to engage in comparisons. Using one child as an example for another may cause problems difficult to undo. Provide praise when warranted and support when necessary, appreciate and celebrate accomplishments, and recognize unique and special talents for each child.

Money Barring an unexpected windfall, family finances are finite. When money is set aside for a large purchase like a college education, cash for other things may no longer be viable options. College loan debt must be paid back and factored into an increase in monthly bills. If not, there will be severe consequences that may not be borne equally by all family members and there may a shortage of future funds.

Parents of college-bound students (POCS) have two large financial goals to plan for: college educations for their children and retirement for themselves. Before committing family dollars, consider a long range plan and budget for these expenses. At a family meeting, share these financial expectations and the contributions for college expected from student pockets.

Change Separation anxiety may hit hard for parents and siblings when students leave for college but it also may cause plenty of anticipatory stress. Shopping for college supplies, packing belongings, rearranging the student’s bedroom are constant reminders of impending change.

Parents may help themselves, the college student and siblings by planning fun things to look forward to. Scheduling when to expect phone calls and care packages may allay some anxiety for the college-bound. Starting new activities may work like magic to distract worry from both siblings and their parents.

Read Suzanne’s post about sibling rivalry.

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.

Wednesday’s Parent: 3 steps forward leaving regrets behind

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Carrying a backpack of regrets. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

Carrying a backpack of regrets. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

Every time I hear the phrase, “No worries,” I get this vivid image of someone toting a heavy backpack filled with regrets and hoping for some relief. From children to parents, that someone is anyone who is second guessing an important decision.

The biggest problem with regrets is it prolongs the decision-making process way past the actual making of the decision. To mix metaphors, regrets bring anxious thoughts of greener pastures supposedly at the end of the road not taken. They exert constant pressure preventing peace of mind.

There is only one sure way to lighten the regret backpack and that’s to empty it. Here’s my three step plan to move forward leaving regrets behind:

1. Define regret Think about what really is bothering you. An example for your college-bound teen may be: Is it worry about choosing the right college to attend or not being able to excel there? For parents concerned about college costs, are you stressing about the size of the bill for one family member or the impact on the entire family’s standard of living or your future retirement plans?

2. Make peace It’s time to accept the past defined regret and deal with the emotions it elicits. Perhaps your teen is anxious because he is second guessing his chosen major or embarrassed about a lack of one. Maybe you are sad about your child leaving the nest or fretting about his/her living in a dorm. Identify your emotion, take a deep breath and release both of them, letting reason provide calm analysis.

3. Take responsibility It’s time to resume control logically. Situations are changed by choices but that generates new options. There will always be challenges and consequences and a good plan will help achieve your goals. Learn from the past, focus on your future and move on. Choosing what to do next is a combination of good decision-making skills and instincts – something parents raising college-bound teens are very familiar with and a life skill our children may practice to succeed!

Read Suzanne’s post: No Regrets

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.

Wednesday’s Parent: Embracing your almost adult-children on Mother’s Day

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Happy Mother's Day!!! Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

Happy Mother’s Day!!! Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

H ow time flies, especially when you are a parent.

A dulthood is for parents, right?

P uberty strikes and soon parenting an adult-child is on the horizon.

P erhaps you reminiscence, fondly gazing at hundreds of baby photos.

Y ou cherish those memories of “firsts” and milestones reached.

 

M uch of your day is now spent dealing with teen angst.

O h the list of college prep chores seems endless:

T he college search, the study for standardized tests, the college visits.

H oping it all gets done in-between AP classes, proms, driving and dating.

E ndless worrying, hoping and wishing your child will succeed.

R earing your child to be an independent, self-supporting good decision-maker.

S illy parent, you gave your child the tools to make his/her own way in life.

 

D id not realize that meant you may sometimes disagree with your child’s choices.

A s the stakes grow higher, you rely on keeping communication flowing.

Y ou are now ready for parenting an adult-child.

 

Read Suzanne’s post: Mother’s Day, Smother Day to continue your Happy Mother’s Day vibe!!!

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.