Monthly Archives: June 2014

Wednesday’s Parent: The surprise on a college-bound summer to-do list

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Summer. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

Summer. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

The first and most important thing on a college-bound summer to-do list may be done while lying in a hammock or walking on the beach. It is best done when thoroughly relaxed. It may take hours. It may speed up completing everything else on the list. Sounds like a perfect summer activity, right?

(While students are busy with their list, parents may focus on their own with these classic 7 summer to dos for parents of college-bound.)

Form a college-bound summer to-do list now. Before those lazy hazy longest days of the year seem to fly by faster than a short winter’s day, take a moment to form a summer to-do list. That way parents and their college-bound students will see a set of goals to achieve and figure out when to accomplish them prior to the start of the next school year. Avoid the frustration of procrastination while still in work mode or you may be trying to squeeze in two months worth of activities into the last weekend before classes begin again.

The first thing on the college-bound summer to-do list is a surprise. Shakespeare phrased it best in Hamlet Act 1, scene 3, 78:

“to thine own self be true”

Most teens don’t really know who they are or what they want. Summer is a great time for introspection. Thinking about this quietly, analyzing their own talents, skills and abilities, likes and dislikes, aptitudes and short-comings will help them figure out what they want college to do for them. It will also narrow the fields of study they want to learn more about and those they need help with now.

There are many choices to add to the college-bound summer to-do list. There are two categories of activities for teens over the summer. One concerns health and the other academics. Students may search extracurricular, job and school opportunities to pursue what they want.

Health As teens grow toward adulthood, they assume more responsibility for their own health. Summer is a great time for them to take steps towards a healthier lifestyle. They may think about the best ways for them to incorporate adequate rest, good food and proper exercise into their busy schedules. They may also think about how to best avoid acquiring unhealthy habits or ditching negative patterns.

Honing soft skills will help the college-bound reduce stress in college and beyond. Collaboration, communication, problem solving, time management and leadership will help teens adapt and thrive in new social, academic and business situations.

Students may also start to address financial health issues and learn more about money management and budgeting. They should understand the concept of affordability and be prepared for a college cost talk with their parents.

Academics When teens have a better understanding of who they are and what they want it is easier for them to select activities that will help or interest them. The emphasis is on general improvement, discovery and enjoyment of learning experiences. Having fun gaining knowledge and satisfaction with mastering new concepts sets the college-bound up for future success.

Some things to-do include: Reading, taking a summer course, volunteering, creating from blogs to building something, finding a mentor, joining a professional association or club, doing an internship or job, gaining skills, preparing a resume, narrowing down a college list, visiting colleges on a collegecation, working on vocabulary, writing a college essay and application, and choosing a major.

Read Suzanne’s post: 5 Things a College-Bound Teen Should NOT Do This Summer

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The #CampusChat on Wednesday, June 25, 9pm ET/6pm PT addresses summer activities for college-bound students and how parents may help. Join Suzanne (@suzanneshaffer) and me (@pocsmom) as we host our monthly #WednesdaysParent with guest Ashley Hill @prepforcollege owner of College Prep Ready. Ashley is a College Success Coach and Scholarship Search Strategist.

If you missed the chat or want to reread the excellent tips and advice, click here. ____________________________________

Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.

Wednesday’s Parent: Using irony and a proverb as self-motivation for your teen

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The path to self-motivation. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

The path to self-motivation. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

The problem of motivation before the longest school break has many parents worried. The concern is teen’s thoughts of summer fun are pushing aside the facts of studies learned right before finals. It’s a big issue for the college-bound when grades matter on college applications and worse for those with college acceptances which may be rescinded for poor academic performance.

Suzanne and I already gave our tips for dealing with spring fever and senioritis. An irony and an old proverb may have the best solution now.

Irony: The longest day of the year is the summer solstice which means the days grow shorter just as summer begins.

Proverb: Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Your teen probably isn’t thinking about the irony because he’s too happy focusing on summer fun, perhaps a job and definitely a break from the routine grind. As for the proverb, you probably have tried several ways over the years to motivate your child. Most likely, none of these involved teaching the skill of self-motivation.

Merging the ability to concentrate on objectives with the skill to to self-motivate sets your child on a path to independence and self-sufficiency. In college he will be able to light his own fire to complete class assignments. For work, she will be able to get the job done by set deadlines. As to meeting family and friends obligations, he will step up. All by him or herself.

Self-motivation comes from within and the result is parents may be able to put away those carrots or sticks used in the past. Think of it as a great companion to our tips for passing the responsibility torch.

Here are four ways self-motivation leads to your teen’s success:

1. Goals If your teen understands what he wants, he has a better chance of making goal attainment his own priority.

2. Empowerment If your teen knows her capabilities, she has the confidence to try it her way.

3. Urgency If your teen has a to do list and matching deadlines, his actions will lead to his own successes or failures.

4. Rewards If your teen is vested in the outcome, she will find her own satisfaction in achievement.

Read on for Suzanne’s post: Motivating an Unmotivated Student

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.

Wednesday’s Parent: Surviving your teen’s prom

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Gold star award for parents surviving their teen's prom. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

Gold star award for parents surviving their teen’s prom. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

I think there should be award ceremonies for parenting. One of the featured categories should be Prom. At the very least, gold stars should be handed out.

How parents deal with this high school rite of passage runs the gamut of feelings from worry to excitement. Teen expectations are also running at an all time high.

I survived my kids’ proms and you will survive this year’s prom season, too. Suzanne and I gave our insights about partying and the college-bound teen but prom presets some unique issues. I did a quick web search and found several suggestions for parents and students. Many tips revolve around prom safety. I’m sharing 10 of my favorites:

1. Trust your parenting from about.com Teens  Prom is a way for your child to test the good decision-making skills and values you have taught. it is also a time for parents to step up their game if they are hosting or double-check their teen’s plans if they aren’t.

2. Have a plan from EmpoweringParents.com When you consider consequences should your child disregard or defy your limits and expectations, think like a business transaction rather than emotionally.

3. Initiate the conversation from USNews.com Prom provides a new venue to revisit conversations about drinking, drugs, driving, sex and other risky behaviors a few days prior to the party. Here the emphasis is on having fun and creating wonderful memories while keeping safe.

4. Provide perspective from San Diego Family Magazine Teens have a bright future of adult learning and working within reach. Bad behavior may result in more than parental ire. High schools may suspend or expel and colleges may revoke acceptance offers for illegal behavior. Definitely not a good start towards independence.

5. Communicate with others from SADD It’s good to speak with other parents and get info from the school, prom venue and driving arrangements to confirm prom plans and learn the rules.

6. Help with the prep from CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) Sunburns from last-minute tanning attempts, dehydration from exercise binges to get in shape, illness from crash dieting, skin and other allergic reactions from cosmetics/dyes, and blisters from ill-fitting shoes may be easily avoided with proper planning and trial runs of products being used for prom.

7. Budget in advance from me Call me crazy but I couldn’t see why families go so financially crazy with college around the corner. As a parent/student team, we brainstormed possible expenses and ways to hold down costs to take advantage of sales, discounts and options. My children did the same with their friends so we were also able to cost share certain expenses.

8. Charge the phone from Cook Children’s Health Care System Make sure your teen’s phone is charged when he/she leaves. Decide on a code-word or phrase to use to prevent teen embarrassment if a call must be placed.

9. Take the picture and don’t cry from CommonHealth They look so grown-up, don’t they? Hold back the tears and prolonged good-byes and take a picture to celebrate your child’s growing independence. Years later, most kids will want this prom remembrance showing off freshly pressed and carefully planned attire no matter how much future styles change. You will want it, too.

10. Continue the conversation from Nassau County Security Police Information Network Pre-plan, role play, and set guidelines and curfews. Most importantly, be their back-up. If plans change, teens should know to call with revisions and if they need a ride home.

Read Suzanne’s post: Oh the conversations you should have (before Prom)

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.

Wednesday’s Parent: Parenting the superstar and the struggler

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Many paths lead to success Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

Many paths lead to success Photo by Wendy David-Gaines

The college-bound often place the schools they are considering in one of three categories based on college admission requirements and student qualifications. Reach schools are those where student qualifications don’t fulfill college requirements but the student really wants to attend. Match or target schools are those where student qualifications meet college requirements. Safety schools are those where student qualifications exceed college requirements.

College choices may force a reevaluation of how parents and students view their current position as superstar, struggler or squished somewhere in between. For example, a school valedictorian may fall short compared with other applicants for admission at an elite college. Or an average student may be a catch for a college with lower selective criteria. Or a struggler may find himself on a par with other students on campus.

The college process can shake up perceptions and turn self-images upside down. Parents may prepare their students for the future with these five tips:

Recognize accomplishments Self-confidence in one’s abilities starts with recognizing the capability for achievement. Low self-esteem is the enemy here that will erode a student’s desire to try.

Praise the effort Not all hard work achieves the goal but many will say it is the failures that lead to future success. The key is finding reward in the journey as well as in accomplishment.

Provide opportunities Some things come easy and some things are more challenging. Which is which differs according to one’s talents, skills and abilities and therefore some activities are more likely to lead to positive outcomes. Look strategically for ways to increase chances for success and strengthen weaknesses.

Have options There are always obstacles to goal achievement but there are also many yellow brick paths to success. Expectations are most helpful when mingled with other choices to adjust and prepare should Plan B or C be necessary.

Keep smiling A positive attitude accepts new challenges as opportunities. Most importantly, it puts setbacks into perspective and uses breakthroughs as motivation.

Read Suzanne’s post: Two Kids; Two Academic Styles

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Wednesday’s child may be full of woe but Wednesday’s Parent can substitute action for anxiety. Each Wednesday Suzanne Shaffer and I will provide parent tips to get and keep your student on the college track. It’s never too late or too early to start!

The bonus is on the fourth Wednesday of each month when Suzanne and I will host Twitter chat #CampusChat at 9pm ET/6pm PT. We will feature an expert on a topic of interest for parents of the college-bound.

Wednesday’s Parent will give twice the info and double the blog posts on critical parenting issues by clicking on the link at the end of the article from www.pocsmom.com to http://www.parentscountdowntocollegecoach.com/ and vice versa.