Confidence. Photo by Wendy David-Gaines
Part of raising independent, self-supporting children is making sure they have the confidence to thrive on their own, know who to count on and ask for help when needed. Alexandra Berube shares some keen insights about how education influences student self-esteem starting with kindergarten in her guest post. Well said Alexandra.
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In my years as an educator, I have commonly found that students at all ages are good at hiding what they don’t know. It’s a basic human emotion to want to fit in with your peers and not let anyone see that you’re falling behind. I remember times myself in middle school and high school when I was too embarrassed to ask a question in front of the class and would just plod along, hoping to figure out the concepts on my own at some point. I remember in particular that I didn’t understand most of what was going on in my Pre-Calculus class, and I’m sure if you asked many adults, they would tell you the same; everyone remembers some class that completely baffled them, but their pride kept them from asking for help.
What affected me the most was my work with kindergarteners, because there is such a large range between skill levels at that age. Some students come in reading chapter books fluently, and some come in without knowing all of their letters. The ones that are behind immediately see what their peers can do that they can’t, and it makes them become more quiet and isolated. They often find opportunities to hide in the crowd so that no one can see their weaknesses. It is so sad and troubling as an educator to see the confidence of a child at such a young age already start down the path of self-doubt.
When I work with middle-schoolers, they know what their strengths and weaknesses are, and they know what they are “bad at.” There is no reason that an eleven-year-old should already have decided that they are bad at an academic subject. Of course there will always be concepts that are more difficult than others in each subject area, but at some point children internalize that they are just not going to succeed in certain areas, and this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. They learn to compensate for their weaknesses by focusing on their strengths, but as a result, their weaknesses grow and grow from underuse. How many adults do you know that say they are terrible at writing, or terrible at spelling, or terrible at math? Ask any of these adults when they decided these facts about themselves, and I’m sure many of them will tell you that those roots lie very deep in their educational history.
It is so important to encourage children at every single stage of development that no matter how difficult a task or concept might appear to be, they can master it. Yes, some children will develop to be brilliant mathematicians, and some will demonstrate a natural talent for expressive writing, but there is no reason for any child to grow up feeling like they are impeded in some way, and that they can never move past this break in confidence to be successful in their future.
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Alexandra Berube started Boston Tutoring Services, LLC., in January, 2010, while teaching her second year of Kindergarten in a small, inclusive classroom. Her background experience in test preparation, including ISEE/SSAT/ACT/SAT, led her to focus on these services in addition to academic subject tutoring. Personal attention and individualized instruction are the cornerstone of Boston Tutoring Services, and she seeks to guide and fully support every family through the process of working with her tutors. She only hires the highest quality tutors with educational degrees, teacher certification, and a superior level of expertise in test preparation. As a former teacher herself, with an M.Ed. from Lesley University, she believes that having a personal connection with parents is crucial to a child’s success, and understanding the value of an individualized approach makes all the difference.
